The Facebook updates you've so far been spared.

I really have to restrain myself so as to not constantly write FB updates about baby Lois.

It's HARD.

Here's all the things I've wanted to post these past weeks all at once.

-Lois is crazy funny and smiles all the time.

-Lois won't let me just hold her. She'd rather be playing ALONE with her toys. She'll be getting a job and moving out soon apparently..

-Lois drank some water today and liked it. I could tell by her huge, wet, gummy smile.

-Lois looks at me and smiles when I nurse her... <3

-Lois likes Iron and Wine, Norah Jones and Justin Beiber. Go figure.

-Lois has eagle eyes. She can see me from across the room and will call out to get me to come over.

-Lois likes it when I sing and tries to do it to.

-Lois sometimes talks to the ceiling.

-Lois gets really mad when I make her go on her belly so she can exercise her back and neck.

-Lois talks back to me. Punk.

-Lois is a naturalist. Being naked outside is nice.

-Lois likes to play with her toys till she falls asleep.

-Lois makes a sound like a heavy weight lifter in the Olympics every time she poops.

-Lois like it when I use her back as a bongo drum.

-Lois eats fast and very little so she will miss as little as possible. Busy body.

-Lois is entertained by table cloths.

-Lois' eyes are always wide open as they'll go when she's awake. Makes her look very surprised and slightly crazy.

-Lois hates hats. She screams like an angry cat when I make her wear one.

-Lois smiles even though she doesn't know what's going on. She just knows that it's the right thing to do.

-Lois almost knows what her name is.

I'm in love with Lois.

Everything you ever wanted and never needed

Delta Airlines Sky Mall magazine.

It's the magazine version of infomercials. It will blow your mind!

Hold on to your wallets! 

Things are about to get reeeeeally tempting.

For the record, I love flying. So convenient. So fast. Great cookies.

Joaquin Phoenix and his tin foil never looked so good.

Skinny people don't wear body shapers. False marketing.

Want the scenery but not the French? This is the perfect compromise.

Christmas lights are cheaper.

Get your kitty cat friend her very own Death Star -now with music!
Da-da-da-tum-tada-tum-tada! You get the idea..

Perfect for sending secret S.O.S. messages to your friends.

Sword through monkey's back letter opener.  Doubles as a tooth pick. Yarr!

Does he kinda remind you of good old uncle Bob? That's because it's him...

Spying on your neighbors just got taken to a whole new level.

The washer that washes your muumuu while you're still wearing it!

The description says it all.

Vibrating applicator that apparently restores lip color.
What if you naturally have really pale lips?

Discover, Master, American Express, Visa AND and ATM card.
What I want to know is why the ATM card isn't any of the previous cards and why you car needs a card..

New research shows that you are less stressed when you sleep with  a rose in your hand..

It would take all day to aerate your lawn BUT call it a work out and it won't be a wast of time. Or money.
Be sure to get the replacement spikes.

Wondering what to get dad for fathers day? Look no further!

The future is here!
Now you can grow your hair back in the time it takes for your favorite team to win a game.

I like it.

You know this is an Asian product.